


Killings at Kovir

by yesravenreyes (notsmokingcamellights)



Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Awkward Tension, Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Hook-Up, Past Relationship(s), Sexual Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:20:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23822968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notsmokingcamellights/pseuds/yesravenreyes
Summary: Kim Bora and Lee Yubin grapple with their complicated feelings for each other as a sorceress and bard in a game of 5th edition Dungeons and Dragons. With Yoohyeon as the dungeon master privy to their feelings, danger and shenanigans ensue.
Relationships: Kim Bora | SuA/Lee Yoobin | Dami, Kim Minji | JiU/Lee Siyeon
Comments: 3
Kudos: 27





	1. Neutrailty

**Author's Note:**

  * For [softshocks](https://archiveofourown.org/users/softshocks/gifts).



> Read the fic and click the song links that follow as you go along. You won't regret it. 
> 
> Please don't use any of these characters in other creative work and/or other D&D campaigns. They're all on my current roster and I plan on actively using them all. 
> 
> Made for Nikki (softshocks) who listened to everything I couldn't shut up about. Follow/DM me at @_ryosana on Twitter if you wanna yell and/or be D&D friends! 
> 
> Stay safe, wash your hands, and drink your water, bitch.

There are a few things in this world Yoohyeon loved more than Dungeons & Dragons.

First on the list would be her parents and her puppy, and she can’t think of much else above that.

Although Yoohyeon was a producer by profession, she never considered herself a particularly good writer until she got to be the dungeon master of her first D&D adventure.

It helped that all the campaigns and one-shots she’s written were conveniently related to whatever fantasy video game or novel she happened to be obsessed with at the time. For tonight’s tier one session, Yoohyeon decided to base her adventure on the Witcher.

It was perfect. She binged the Netflix show by herself in the course of a single weekend and the fact that there was no canon map only meant that she could go full-blown “theater of the mind” on this thing and plunge her players into more danger before they could even question where exactly they were on the map. Of course they could still do that, and she could still answer, but that was beside the point.

What was important tonight is that the playing party would only consist of four of her friends, and three of them have never played D&D before. There’s nothing quite like the smell of fresh blood in the evening.

Speak of fresh blood, and fresh blood shall come, Yoohyeon thought to herself, as she smiled and tucked her beloved copy of Baptism of Fire back on her bookshelf at the sound of the doorbell.

“What’s up, nerds?!” Bora exclaimed, probably expecting to be the fashionably late one among the bunch. After discovering that in fact, she was the early bird, a flash of disappointment crossed her face as she cleared her throat. “I brought takeout,” she said instead.

“You ready to get your ass kicked?” Yoohyeon replied from the opposite side of her apartment, rushing into Bora’s arms for a tight hug, inhaling the sweet smell of Japanese takeout coming from her bunched up paper bags.

Bora backed away from the hug and raised her eyebrows slightly. “Nothing? No special considerations? Even though I brought your favorite Japanese takeout? You’re still determined to kill m--”

“I don’t give any of my players special treatment. Siyeon can vouch for that. And don’t mind if I do,” Yoohyeon replied curtly, digging into one of Bora’s paper bags and smiling at her onigiri. Bora only frowned back at her.

And right before Bora could protest, in came Yubin in a ruffled pirate shirt, skinny jeans, and leather boots. She also wore gold dangling earrings that framed her face perfectly. Yubin was impressively holding two bottles of wine with one hand and her phone on the other.

Yoohyeon didn’t have to guess. “Is this what bards look like? Did I get it right? I just Googled this shit,” Yubin said with a goofy smile, ditching a proper hello entirely.

Just like Yoohyeon predicted, Bora’s snarkiness would come up in three, two…

“Did you even read Yoohyeon’s messages? This isn’t fuckin’ Pirates of the Caribbean, by the way.”

“I’m just trying to spice it up! Add some drama! I mean, we’re both noobs at this game so I wouldn’t want to look clueless, alright? Forever 21?”

Bora raised her finger in protest. “I may not be dressed as… well… anything, but that still beats looking like I just came out of my extra shift working at Disneyla--”

“We’re here!” Siyeon and Minji shouted in unison with more bags of drinks in tow. Yoohyeon couldn’t help but smile as she noticed their mismatched diamond engagement rings. It reminded her of the day Siyeon begrudgingly told her that Minji proposed to her on the same day she wanted to propose to Minji. They were that kind of perfect couple.

“Looking perfect as always, Siyeon!” Yoohyeon beamed at her, going for an air kiss.

“Always, darling,” Siyeon replied, granting Yoohyeon an air kiss in return. Yoohyeon was pleased to find her very much in character already, likely as some sort of new spellcaster. The other girl was draped in a sleek hooded coat over a tiny black dress underneath. Her neck was adorned in layered necklaces and the rings on her finger were simply too many to count. And - if Yoohyeon’s eyes didn’t deceive her - were those new piercings?

Siyeon started playing Dungeons & Dragons shortly after Yoohyeon started DM’ing games. She tended to play incredibly skilled and experienced spellcasters of all kinds–most, if not, all her active characters were already sitting pretty at tier four. Considering that this is the first time Minji will be joining her in a game though, with Bora and Yubin having no experience yet either, Siyeon decided to make an exception and play at tier one once again. Yoohyeon was a little worried that Siyeon would be able to see through all her tricks and traps, but only time would tell if they would be proven effective. Siyeon may be dealing with worse newbie stats now, but that strategic tier four brain would still be alive and kicking.

“Where do I put these?” Minji beamed beside her fiancée. Yoohyeon was pleasantly surprised to discover that she brought champagne. It was hard to tell which class Minji picked, but judging by her rugged beige button-down, brown joggers and ankle boots, she was definitely some form of fighter. Having Minji by her side, Yoohyeon wasn’t surprised that she was in character, too.

While Yoohyeon assisted her friends with the things they brought to the party, she couldn’t help but overhear Yubin and Bora bickering like usual.

“Are you gonna be scowling the whole time because you don’t look as dope as everyone else?”

“If you’re gonna give me shit the whole time, I swear to God, I’m--”

“Alright! Let’s discuss our characters over dinner and dive right into the game, yeah?” Yoohyeon called out, knowing that as fun as it is to see her players bicker so early on in the game, it could lead to in-fighting when they’d finally start. “Gahyeon and Handong are gonna spectate, and they said they’d be here in an hour or so. Let’s start setting up.”

Thankfully, Yubin and Bora were able to set aside whatever-that-was for the sake of helping the group set up. Yoohyeon made a mental note to thank Bora at the end of the session for providing boxed Japanese takeout for everybody–it helped that the food didn’t get in the way of the combat set-up Yoohyeon was fixing with Siyeon in the middle of her long mahogany table.

Yoohyeon unashamedly picked that table out simply because it was perfect for D&D, and she loved the sound of dice hitting fresh wood. Because the newbies weren’t bona fide addicts like her and Siyeon, they ended up borrowing dice from Yoohyeon’s collection. Bora picked bright red ones, Yubin went with a cool yellow set, and Minji borrowed Siyeon’s first purple set purchased forever ago. Yoohyeon couldn’t help but sneak a glance over at Siyeon’s new dice set–metallic, with red engravings for the numbers.

“Everyone settled?” Yoohyeon asked, after the glasses of wine had been poured and her players started to dig in. After a few nods and affirmatives echoed, Yoohyeon took a sip of her wine and began.

“Since the only experienced player here is Siyeon, I’m going to give everyone a quick primer on how I do things,” she began. “Here are my only hard rules. We get to follow what the dice dictates. Attack rolls vary depending on whether the monsters have special abilities or not. Don’t worry, I’ll be sure to let you know if they do right away.”

“If you roll a 1, that’s a critical failure, so your bonuses don’t apply. If you roll a nat 20, that’s a critical success, and we can throw in your bonuses to sweeten the deal,” Yoohyeon said, and noticed a bunch of new players perk up at this clause. “All of you have an action and a bonus action per turn in combat. For those who can cast spells, take note of how many spell slots you have. Spells that aren’t cantrips expend a slot. Cantrips can be used as much as you like, depending on how many actions you have left. Siyeon and I already indicated how many spell slots you all have in your character sheets.”

So far, everyone seemed to be studying their sheets properly and no questions have been asked so far. They seemed to be off to a good start. “I’ll be asking for ability checks intermittently throughout the game. Pretty much anything goes. Oh, and don’t be a dick unless it’s in character. Any questions?”

Yubin shot her hand up first. “Is there such a thing as a bad D&D player?”

“Good question! What do you mean by that?”

“I mean,” Yubin replied. “If there are certain bad qualities we should look out for. Like, I know anything goes like you said, but is it possible to suck at D&D?”

“Yes, it’s incredibly possible! And I’m glad a newbie asked the question, too,” Yoohyeon smiled in response. “Terrible players are kind of like terrible actors. Whatever they do ends up derailing the story or other characters too much that you kind of forget why they’re important to the party in the first place. For example, I don’t want you guys wandering off unless it can lead to another adventure as good as the main story. I don’t want you inciting violence for no reason either without any contribution to the plot whatsoever. This is still a roleplaying game and everyone’s here to play parts and have fun–anyone who is impeding this in any way can be kicked out at my discretion. Got it?”

More nods. “Next question? Anyone?”

“If a monster shows up, do we have to engage in combat?” Minji asked. “Is it possible to try to gain information from them first?”

“This is normally the tactic I’d want you guys to employ first,” Yoohyeon began to explain. “I mean, killing monsters is as fun as you think it is, but these are creatures with their own set of attacks and rolls that could cost you hit points.Talking you way out of a bad situation is roleplay 101, and I suggest you use this tactic wisely. You all have a slew of languages you’re proficient in, too, which will come in handy for this and for reading manuscripts or signs the others may not catc.”

“Anything else?” Collective head shakes came from the table.

“Alright, adventurers. Let’s begin,” Yoohyeon smiled, and began to play[ music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWPPD5ww0eA) from her phone. “Good luck and try to help your party members. You’ll need it.”

Yoohyeon heard Siyeon scoff and chuckle. This is gonna be good.

“The world you’re in is plunged in war. Nilfgaard has slain region after region in attempts to gain absolute power. However, dealings with Nilfgaard will be far and few between in the region of Kovir.”

“You see, Kovir is one of the only truly neutral kingdoms in the world as you know it. And because of its neutrality, adventurers, thieves, whoresons, and brigands from across all seas have decided to make their dwellings here instead, away from the obligations and trivialities that has become the Great Nilfgaardian War. Adventurers and mercenaries such as yourselves live incredibly dangerous, profitable lives after all. Who would want to lose one’s head at a lofty king’s senseless orders?”

“No, not any of you. We begin in what you may have guessed to be a tavern, right in Kovir’s main square in the middle of the night. All manner of races and creatures have taken their place in mixed tables filled to the brim with ale. At the front of the tavern, on what looks to be a makeshift stage for bards and entertainers, sits an elf bard with a band of merrymaking orcs playing different instruments behind her.”

“Can the orcs be wearing flower crowns? For funsies?” Yubin flashed her goofy smile again.

“Yeah, I’ll totally allow that!” Yoohyeon chuckled back. “Each orc seems to be having the time of their life, wearing fashionable garlands on their head made of posies and roses. Bard, if you may take it away.”

To everyone’s surprise but Yoohyeon’s, Yubin pulled out a ukulele seemingly from out of nowhere and began to sweetly sing [“Golden Hour” by Kacey Musgraves](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=maONL_HfI20). Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted Handong and Gahyeon quietly entering the apartment and stopping right after the threshold, just to listen. Yubin played with the finesse of a troubadour who knew how captivated her audience was with her, but certainly wasn’t playing for anyone in particular. All that yearning, and yet, her eyes didn’t seem to want to meet anyone else’s.

When Yubin finished her song, the table erupted in claps and wolf whistles. To Yoohyeon’s surprise, even Bora’s steely expression seemed to soften.

“Alright everyone, settle down,” Yoohyeon said, eliciting a gradual silence from the group. “Even though Essi knocked that performance out of the park, I still have to tell her to make a performance check. Essi, if you would be so kind?”

The sound of a die hit mahogany, and Yoohyeon could feel the collective holding their breaths. “Nat 20, baby!” Yubin exclaimed to more cheers and applause.

“That is… the best goddamn finale to a set this shitty tavern has ever heard,” Yoohyeon declared, to more cheering from the table.

“Also, everyone is just collectively wet from your performance,” she added, and more laughter ensues. “DM’s word is law, so interpret that as you will.”

“Oh my gooooods Essi we love you! Essi! Notice us, Essi!” Handong and Gahyeon shouted from the other side of Yoohyeon’s apartment, acting every bit like the kind of crazed, hormonal barmaids who would fall for a traveling troubadour. The claps around the table were suddenly mixed with laughter.

Yubin sheepishly lowered her ukulele, smiling and scratching the back of her head. Yoohyeon wondered how many idols she had to watch to perfect this kind of backhanded charm, but she was nailing it, every step of the way. “I have no idea who you all are at the back, but thank you for that warm applause. I appreciate it.”

“Despite all the applause you’re getting, you realize that most, if not all, of these misfits don’t actually know who you are in this tavern, Essi,” Yoohyeon said. “Why don’t you introduce yourself to all of them?”

“Sure, no problem,” Yubin replied, clearing her throat. She was in character again almost instantly. “Is there a mic? Do they have mics?”

“You kind of just begin to modulate to the crowd. The acoustics are pretty great here on their own. Just before you begin to introduce yourself though, a tiny dwarf seems to bellow from the crowd.”

Yoohyeon’s voice dropped considerably, and her accent turned cockney as she began to take on the dwarf’s voice. “Oi! You’re that elf princess fella, innit?”

“Right, right,” Yubin said. “I’m Essi, from Aedirn. And before you guys freak out about these,” she gestured to what everyone imagined to be elf ears on the sides of her head, “I’m not with the Nilfgaardians or the Scoia’tael any longer. I’ve left that life of militia behind for a life of merriment and neutrality, as you Kovirans may know. And as much as I’d love to entertain you all with another ballad, I fear I’ve been up here too long. Kindly leave tips for my lovely band, and I’ll see you when I see you.”

“Can I blow a kiss at the two fangirls at the back?” Yubin asked Yoohyeon, barely containing her own laughter.

“Alright, sure! Before you get off the stage, you make sure to blow a kiss at your two biggest supporters out back,” Yoohyeon explained, as Yubin stood up in full view of the table to blow a kiss out to Handong and Gahyeon. Without breaking character, the two faint straight onto Yoohyeon’s floor and the whole table erupts in cheers and laughter.

“The whole bar absolutely loves you despite you being a foreigner around these parts,” Yoohyeon smiles. “And you do hear a few cheers of ‘Essi! Essi!’ around this table with big, brawny soldiers pounding away at their tables–their ale tankards sloshing about. You take a bow and make your exit from here. Where do you go from here, Essi?”

“Is there a hot bartender I can flirt with, or something?” Yubin replies without missing a beat.

“Yes, in fact, there is. You said your character was pansexual, right?”

“Yup.”

“No races, gender or class preferences whatsoever?”

“As long as they’re hot, Essi will clear her entire schedule,” Yubin grinned as the table chuckled once more.

“Thanks for clarifying,” Yoohyeon replied, already smirking. “So after that killer performance, you head over to the bar, and everyone’s attention conveniently drifts towards the second performer, who is not as good as you are, but what can you do, right?”

“The bartender is this slim, petite girl with long hair tied tightly in a ponytail wearing a white wife beater. Her back is turned to you and she seems incredibly busy. You notice quick scribbles dart across her pale arms. Some notes are smudged, most likely by sweat. Behind her, you can’t help but notice a long tail and two horns at the side of her head, grown like that of a ram’s, with two matching horn piercings on its ends. She’s been on shift practically all day in the busiest tavern in all of Kovir. What do you do?”

Yubin didn’t have to think twice. “Can I flirt with her?”

“Sure! Roll a quick charisma check for me.”

When Yubin’s die hit the table, she winced. “That’s a 9.”

Yoohyeon paused, making it look as if she was giving the verdict some more thought. “What do you want to say to her?”

“Okay. I’ll say something like, ‘That song wasn’t particularly dedicated to anybody, but I’d sing to you if I knew you were in the crowd,” Yubin suggested, shrugging.

“As sweet as those words are, they simply won’t stick with a 9,” Yoohyeon laughed. “Miss Bartender, can you turn around and let the bard know what you thought of her sweet nothings.”

“I turn around and go, ‘The fuck you just say to me?’ as wisps of hellfire bristle up and down my arms,” Bora retorts. Gahyeon and Handong visibly gasp while Yubin’s mouth hangs open in disbelief.

“Did you two plan this?” Minji asked, gesturing to Yoohyeon and Yubin at the same time. “This is like, way too convenient.”

“It is,” Bora sighed. “I told DM Yoohyeon over here that I wanted my character to work in the most populated bar in Kovir, but then this little asshole-”

“I conveniently made Essi the balladeer of the night in said tavern,” Yoohyeon beamed. “And now, this is happening! Exciting times ahead! But while you’re already introduced, can you tell us a bit more about yourself, Raveena?”

“You guys probably guessed I’m a tiefling,” Bora began, as she noticed some nods and confused looks alike. “DM, can we get music going on in here?”

“Sure! What do you wanna play.”

“Play me some sick, sick [Government Hooker by Lady Gaga](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8uMXyxvbKA),” Bora suggested, as Yoohyeon’s speakers started blasting the 2011 Gaga B-side.

“Basically my demon dad seduced my mom and ditched when I was tiny,” Bora went on as the song progressed. “After years of odd jobs and whoring to help mom with the bills, one of my clients noticed certain events that didn’t seem to add up–some clients paid more than usual, others didn’t seem to have done anything with me at all, and some straight up never showed up again. Turns out one of the head sorceresses over at Aretuza, Tissaia de Vries, was a client, and spotted my talent immediately. She bought me out of that whorehouse and shipped me over to Aretuza with her to train as a sorceress.”

“I didn’t want anything to do with the Nilfgaardian war, so I eventually made Kovir my home,” Bora continued. “Plus, quests are easy to come by when the busiest tavern in Kovir also happens to be where I got hired full-time.”

Yoohyeon nudged Yubin gently. “Are you gonna do something now, Essi, or will the confused look at Raveena do for now?”

“Okay, sorry, I was just thinking,” Yubin started. “I might know her? Maybe? Do I get a check for that?”

“Yes, roll a history check for us, please,” Yoohyeon replied.

Yubin rolled. “The dice says 19.”

“Perfect,” Yoohyeon replied, rubbing her hands together. “You gaze into Raveena’s infernal, soulless black eyes and notice that you were a client of hers, years ago, at the brothel she worked for before coming to Aretuza.”

“Yubin is absolutely fucked,” Handong said from Yoohyeon’s nearby couch, to a snickering Gahyeon.

“Can I check to see if I recognize her, too?” Bora asked.

“Sure! Roll another history for me.”

“Ooh shit,” Bora chuckles. “That’s a 16. I think it’s gonna pass.”

“And it absolutely does,” Yoohyeon laughs. “You look over at the troubadour, and images flash through your mind as you remember that she used to be one of your better-looking, better-in-bed kind of clients at the brothel you used to work in. What do you do?”

“I mean, staying in character or whatever,” Bora replied, “I think I wouldn’t want to flirt with a former customer a second time, just because I’m too cool for that shit. So I tell her, ‘We’re closing in a bit, so you better beat it. Or I’ll make you.”

“My character barges in and goes, ‘Did someone say closing time?! I haven’t even had a drop of ale!” Minji exclaimed, to Siyeon’s absolute delight. “DM, can you play [Bad Reputation by Joan Jett](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRu5wxl5frk)?”

“Already on it,” Yoohyeon beamed, changing the music abruptly.

“Considering you just saved Essi’s ass from being royally throttled,” Yoohyeon chuckled. “Would you mind introducing yourself?”

“Hey, everyone!” Minji beamed, waving warmly at the whole table. “I’m Triss Merigold. I’m a demigod barbarian. My mother kind of shacked up with Zeus.”

“The fucking lightning god?” Yubin smiled, crossing her arms.

“Yeah, something like that,” Minji chuckled. “Since I was technically a bastard, there wasn’t much use for me at the palace, so I pretty much went on my own from there. Besides, adventuring is more fun than royal duties, anyway.”

“High five dude,” Yubin reached across the table to catch Minji’s hand in the air.

“Triss, can you tell us how you look like?” Yoohyeon asked.

“I’m around six foot one,” Minji replied. “Really stocky build, but you can see my curly red hair is braided to keep my hair out of my face. Who was the new tank? In Overwatch?”

“Brigitte?” Gahyeon said.

“Yes, exactly! Brigitte!” Minji exclaimed. “Siyeon suggested I try to pick a character who was the complete opposite of who I was in real life, so I decided to be a buff-as-fuck barbarian this time.”  
“I use Thaumaturgy to cause the entire bar to rumble,” Siyeon quickly improvised. “Just for my entrance DM, is that fine? And can you play [The Number of the Beast by Iron Maiden](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-iRf9AWoyE)?”

“Sure!” Yoohyeon replied, and changed the song on her phone accordingly. She began to speak just as the song’s intro roared in the background. “You see the entire bar suddenly quake in fear. The few patrons who are left attempt to draw their weapons as they sense some dark, powerful magic surround them. Zora Aardvark, please give me an intimidation check.”

Siyeon rolled, and immediately shot Yoohyeon a look of utter disappointment. “I got a 6.”

“Fuck,” Yoohyeon laughed. “Despite your Thaumaturgy freaking everyone out at the bar, some of the gnomes make a joke about how he just farted, and the whole bar erupts in laughter. Everyone, apart from Essi, Raveena, and Triss forget that you entered.”

“You still looked fucking cool, babe,” Minji reassured her, squeezing her hand slightly. Siyeon mouthed a “thank you” right back.

“Can I ask Raveena to make me a cocktail called ‘the Black Death’”? Siyeon asked.

“Sure!” Yoohyeon responded. “And while we’ve just finished your entrance, can you introduce yourself?”

“This Iron Maiden song is sick, dude,” Bora said, giving Siyeon a thumbs up.

“Thanks, I selected it three weeks before tonight,” Siyeon admitted, clearing her throat. “My character’s name is Zora Aardvark. She’s from Skellige, quite far away from here. In a previous war, her parents were peasants on the brink of death as their small town was besieged, by an army she can’t really remember. Their dying wish was to save their daughter so they essentially sold her to the Fiend to become a chaotic warlock.”

“And now, their child grew up to be an arbiter of death,” Bora replied, nodding.

“Yes, she did,” Siyeon nodded back. “And speaking of which, do you have that cocktail?”

“Hold that cocktail,” Yoohyeon shot back, pretending not to notice the death glare Siyeon shot at her in return. “Raveena, your boss comes in–her name is Castellan. She’s this elf dressed in a red, patterned cowl draped over her shoulders instead of on her head, and she looks great–despite having had more than one cocktail throughout the day. If you guys need a better visual representation, she kind of looks like Kim Seo-hyung from Sky Castle.”

“Can I flirt with her instead, since Raveena keeps icing me out?” Yubin asked, and got her arm slapped by Bora in return. Yoohyeon stifled her laughter and decided that she won’t count that as an in-game cheap shot.

“You see Castellan look at you for a brief second, and as if she can read your thoughts, she just says, ‘No.’ and begins to address Raveena again,” Yoohyeon replied to a pouting Yubin.

“Her attention immediately snaps back to Raveena and she goes, ‘Work came in. Come to my office. And bring… whoever those friends of yours are. You’re gonna need them.’”


	2. The Cage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "And that's what I think about control. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!" SZA's mom, and Yoohyeon's main inspiration for D&D.

“Gahyeon, wanna DJ in the meantime?” 

“Sure DM,” Gahyeon replied, taking Yoohyeon’s phone from her. “What are we playing this time?” 

Yoohyeon thought for a moment. “Give me ‘[The Ladies Who Lunch.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=So-2YAiH93I)’ Make sure you play the Streep, Brasinski, and McDonald version.” 

“Taste!” Siyeon exclaimed, clinking her wine glass with Yoohyeon’s as the Sondheim classic began to bathe the room in its iconic, sultry piano. 

“All of you enter Castellan’s office, at the third floor of the bar,” Yoohyeon began. “It resembles a luxurious, comfy captain’s quarters with leather seats, stowed liquor in boxes, and stuffed animal heads on the walls. Castellan is a 500-year-old middle-aged wood elf, so she’s bound to have accumulated some hunting expertise over the years.”

“She wraps her cowl around her neck more tightly and opens the window slightly, letting a comfortable chill enter the room. All of you hear a contented growl from behind her, and she absent-mindedly starts stroking the chin of a pure white Bengal tiger.” 

“Can I feed your tiger? Ma’am? Miss ma’am?” Minji awkwardly asks, in Triss’ voice. 

“Castellan turns around, looks at you as if regarding you for the first time and goes, ‘Sure,’” Yoohyeon replied. “You go ahead and toss… what do you have on you, Triss?” 

“A straight-up, bloody slab of meat.” 

“You were carrying that with you this whole time?” Bora asked, chuckling.

“What? I didn’t know if the tavern had enough to feed me,” Minji pouted. “By the way, DM, what’s the tavern called?” 

“Oh, I forgot to mention that it’s called The Pit,” Yoohyeon explained. “Castellan may have business acumen, but she isn't the most creative individual when it comes to naming her ventures." 

"This is a shot in the dark, maybe," Yubin raised her hand. "But can I flirt with her?"

"Spamming charisma checks left and right, I see?" Yoohyeon smirked at her. "Roll me one."

Yubin nabbed her d20 and rolled. She didn't want to rejoice just yet. "Will an 18 count?"

"Depends. What do you want to say to her?" 

"I'd...like to give her some flirty compliments in Elvish," Yubin decided, staring at her character sheet. "Castellan's an elf, so she must speak Elvish, right?" 

"All elves speak Elvish, yes," Yoohyeon nodded. "So at that, Castellan perks up and takes you in, narrowing her eyes. Without bothering to ask your name, she goes, 'If I had a mortal husband who would pass away in a puny lifetime, then maybe. But half of the things you don't see in this office are at the private chambers of the head sorceress at Aretuza. She's my age and looks like she hasn't aged a day over thirty-five. You get where I'm coming from?'" 

"At that, she gives you a devilishly gorgeous wink and goes, 'Maybe next time, kid,'" Yoohyeon said, deepening her voice. The whole table almost collectively swoons.

"And besides,'" Yoohyeon continued in Castellan's voice. "Didn't you and Raveena here have a little-" 

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Bora shouted back, so convincingly that even Yoohyeon didn't know whether she was speaking as herself or as her character. "Can we! Just! Get to the mission! Thing! Whatever you asked us to do!"

Yoohyeon chuckled, and didn’t want to torture Bora any further, either. “Right. Let’s cut to the chase, ladies.” 

“There’s a new tavern that debuted a rather… unique concept I’ve never seen before,” Yoohyeon explained. “You see, taverns are usually just taverns and brothels are something else altogether. This place seems to be both. It operates on a schedule, you see–it presents as a tavern during certain days of the week and as a brothel on others.” 

“When it does present as a brothel, the whores it employs all have the ability to turn into different animal humanoids at will. It bewilders me to understand why this would be appealing to anyone, but it seems like a huge chunk of our clientele has been coming to this place in droves.” 

“Are we… going to investigate furries?” Yubin whispered to Bora, as conspicuously as she possibly could. Bora only shrugged in reply, waiting for more information from the DM. 

“Seemingly out of nowhere, all of you watch as Castellan brings out a light crossbow,” Yoohyeon said. “And shoots both eyes on the head of one of her stuffed deer on the wall directly behind all of you.” 

“That place can’t compete with me, do you understand?” Yoohyeon went on, assuming Castellan’s voice flawlessly once again. “I need all of you to find out where this place is and tear their operation from the ground up. Without their changeling whores, they’ll be just another start-up concept that won’t stand a chance against a hundred-year-old business such as my own. I promise that all of you will be handsomely rewarded. Any questions?” 

Siyeon raised her hand. “Are the whores druids?” 

“Good question,” Yoohyeon replied. “They don’t employ any druids or spellcasters whatsoever. The transformative powers they possess probably come from a gemstone or an elixir–I’m not entirely sure of that, yet. Next?” 

It was Yubin’s turn. “How handsomely do you plan on rewarding us?” 

“How does three-hundred fifty gold pieces sound?” Yoohyeon smiled. “One gold piece is enough to feed a family of four for a month here in Kovir. I’m not playing around. Anyone else?” 

Siyeon asked another question. “Does the quest have a time limit?” 

“Not necessarily,” Yoohyeon replied. “Although I’ll have to cut your earnings by fifty gold pieces if you don’t accomplish the task by the end of the week. My competition doesn’t seem to show signs of slowing down. Anything else?” 

The entire group shook their heads. 

“So with that, Castellan bids you all farewell for the evening,” Yoohyeon said. “and all of you exit the bar, which begins to come to a close. It’s around 1 AM in the game’s time. What would all of you like to do first?” 

“I just realized I didn’t get to have any drinks before closing time,” Minji mused in Triss’ voice, pouting. 

“Me too. So not hardcore,” SIyeon replied, deadpan but disappointed. 

\--

“Wanna check if there are any nearby taverns we can still go to? The night doesn’t have to end yet,” Yubin beamed at the party. 

“DM, where’s the nearest tavern we can head to from here?” Bora asked. 

“I assume all of you are on horses?” Yoohyeon asked, to the party’s approval. “Then it will take all of you a twenty-minute ride to the next one. It’s nameless and quite dingy, so I won’t ask any of you to take anything out of your existing gold count on your sheets.” 

“Let’s head out?” Yubin asked, and the party nodded in response. 

“Before we proceed,” Siyeon interjected. “I found it cool that Yoohyeon integrated Castellan into this game’s universe. I’ve played alongside Castellan in a bunch of tier four campaigns and I never thought that she would end up being the catalyst for an adventure!”

“Not a shabby retirement plan, don’t you think?” Yoohyeon smiled back at Siyeon. “She was my first - and only - character who made it all the way to level twenty after all! I knew I had to create a special adventure just for her.” 

“Wait, max level is just twenty?” Yubin asked. “Hmm, doesn’t seem too hard, then.” 

At this, Yoohyeon and Siyeon burst into laughter–so much laughter that Minji patted Siyeon’s back repeatedly after she started choking from drinking wine at the same time. Gahyeon and Handong tried their best to maintain straight faces. All Yubin and Bora could do was look at the two and worry. 

“Yubin, darling,” Siyeon began, wiping away tears. “At level twenty, that’s when games start at 2 PM and end at 4 AM.” 

“So you’re exhausted from using all possible parts of your brain to solve ridiculous problems,” Yoohyeon added. “Plus, you might deal with legendary beasts that don’t even need to take turns when attacking.” 

“A turn is six seconds in game time,” Siyeon continued. “So attacking for six seconds and dealing another follow-up attack for less than that amount of time is insane.”

“Guys, I think you’re scaring them,” Handong laughed. “As good as Siyeon already is, I don’t think the party will survive if two-thirds of the noobs drop out this early.” 

“Summer children, don’t worry,” Siyeon cooed, trying to comfort Yubin and Bora by patting their hands. “We’re not yet at the gates of Mordor.” 

“Where were we?” Yoohyeon snapped back from her laughing spell. “Ah, yes. All of you make your way to the nearest tavern in the hopes of unwinding after the day is over and possibly gaining intel on Castellan’s competitor.” 

“Can I start off with some banter to lighten the mood?” Minji raised her hand. It pleased Yoohyeon that she was showing so much initiative early on for a new player. 

“Sure, take it away! Assume all of you already discussed your back stories with each other along the way,” Yoohyeon acquiesced. 

“So Raveena,” Minji started, giving Bora a dopey smile. “About that sorceress, who apparently raised you and is shacking up with Castellan back there, is she, you know…” 

“Can we stop talking about my hot moms?” Bora snapped back. “We have a mission to accomplish here, in case you were too distracted a while ago.”

“Since we’re on the topic of MILFs,” Yubin added, not willing to simply let this go. “I felt pretty great about our conversation. I think I’ve got a sliver of a chance, you guys.” 

Bora burst out laughing. “You? Listen, since all of you are hell-bent on calling my moms MILFs-”

“I didn’t say anything,” Siyeon whispered, somehow still in Zora’s low register.

“But you thought about it,” Minji whispered back and winked.

“Okay, maybe I did.” 

“Anyway!” Bora exclaimed, catching the two’s attention once more. “She wouldn't give you the time of day unless she was like, a cougar or something. Which, fortunately for you, she isn’t.” 

“Fortunately? How?” Yubin crossed her arms. “Look at this face. Every single chance I’ve had with a hot girl tonight was busted, tremendously. Tell me how that’s logical.” 

“Maybe,” Siyeon replied. “Now’s simply not your time. Physically, I mean.” 

“She’s got a point,” Minji agreed. “I mean, to be a MILF, all you have to do is simply be a woman and… like… wait.” 

Siyeon turned to her with an expression full of respect and approval. “I know your intelligence is incredibly low on your character sheet, but now I understand why your wisdom score is so high.” 

“You know it,” Minji replied, giving her a slick fist bump

“I love that this is what bonds my intrepid group of adventurers together,” Yoohyeon said, wistfully. “MILF discourse.” 

“We’re all gay, so are you really surprised, DM?” Yubin laughed. 

“Not really,” Yoohyeon replied, raising her hands in surrender. “You guys don’t mind if I move this campaign forward a little bit, or does Triss still have some things to say about Raveena’s hot moms?”

“I think Triss needs a drink,” Minji shot back, taking a sip of wine. 

“And Triss will have one,” Yoohyeon declared. “The four of you tie up your horses in front of the nearest, dingiest tavern you’ve come across on the road. Gahyeon, can you play ‘[Lonely Boy’ by The Black Keys?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uD64ruAb8vs)’”

“You got it, boss,” Gahyeon gave Yoohyeon a small salute and turned on the music. 

“You step in, and the energy in this place is different,” Yoohyeon described. “The Pit drew in a mixed bunch, but the stench and work of this whole place is incredibly masculine. Every table looks like it’s been barely cleaned with sloshes of year-long ale stains that have destroyed some parts of the wood. Huge, burly warriors, soldiers, and adventurers of all races sing, jostle each other, and consume alcohol with abandon. You quickly see a spare table at the far corner of the place and make a dash for it.” 

“Can everyone roll a perception check for me, please?” Yoohyeon asked. “In the middle of the table, where I can see it.” 

She’s satisfied when she sees Siyeon’s metallic dice display the number 12. “It’s difficult to see from where you are, but Zora manages to notice a group of orcs staring at your group.” 

“Can I make an insight check for that?” Siyeon responded. 

“Go for it,” Yoohyeon replied, and is satisfied when Siyeon rolls an 8. “You definitely know they’re looking at all of you but you don’t know what their intentions are.” 

“Alright,” Siyeon said, immediately turning her game face on. “Here’s what we do, everyone. We just have to lay low and-” 

“I challenge the orcs to an arm wrestling competition!” Minji declared, and if she had a real tankard of ale at the moment, Yoohyeon knew she would pound it right on top of her precious mahogany dining table like a gavel. “The winners get to sponsor another round of ale for the two tables!” 

“We,” Siyeon began, affectionately rolling her eyes. “need to make sure our murder himbo here doesn’t actually murder anyone.” 

“Say no more, boss,” Bora replied, taking a generous sip of wine. 

\--

“Here’s how things will work,” Yoohyeon explained. “I’ll roll a d20 as one of the orcs, and Minji will roll against me. Whoever gets a higher number will tip the scales in their favor. Ready?” 

Minji nodded with excitement. 

“Let’s roll!” Yoohyeon exclaimed, waiting in anticipation for the first rolls to show their results. 

“16, Minji!” Handong yelled back, keeping track of only the winning die for everyone’s convenience. 

“The orc’s arm dangerously tips toward the table’s edge, but he won’t give up!” Yoohyeon replied. “Roll again!” 

“12, Yoohyeon!”

“15, Minji!” 

“19, Minji! She could win!” 

“Minji with a nat 20! Does that do it?”

“Ah shit, Yoohyeon’s back with another 12 over Minij’s 8.” 

The exchange was brutal, with the whole table screaming after every result. Yoohyeon wondered how long it would take the party to turn the odds against the orc. 

Luckily for them, Bora was paying attention. “Can I use Thaumaturgy to make the ground shake underneath the orc? To distract him?” 

“Sure,” Yoohyeon beamed. The newbies were getting the hang of things. “Do you want to add anything, Yubin?”

“Ooh, Raveena,” Yubin nudged. “Can you make it seem like the tremors are coming from the chair, instead? Like ants could be crawling up and down his ass.”

Yoohyeon smiled at the two in confirmation. “The momentary distraction hits. Triss, you slam the orc’s arm on the table so hard it almost cracks in two. His comrades all start to cheer for you.” 

“I start a ‘Merigold’ cheer and sort of do a heroic wave,” Minji said, smiling and waving to her friends as they applaud. “It was supposed to be my full name, but the last name has three syllables and is much easier for strangers to cheer for.” 

“Before our good friend Triss here buys everyone tankards of ale,” Yubin exclaimed. “Can we ask the good lads for some tourist information?” 

“Lay it on us, you girls all deserved it,” Yoohyeon replied, in the deepest, roughest Orcish voice she could manage. 

“We wanted to know if any of you have been to… a special kind of tavern/brothel hybrid,” Bora explained. “We heard their whores could turn into any kind of animal at will.” 

“And they aren’t druids, too!” Yubin added. 

“The orcs sort of all look at each other knowingly,” Yoohyeon described. “And they look back at all of you with fervent interest and a little bit of admiration. The leader of their gang, the one Triss just beat at arm wrestling, goes, ‘You’re an adventurous lot, eh? Since you were so kind as to pay for all these drinks here, I’d gather I could help you out, yeah?’” 

“Can you read Orcish, Triss?” Yoohyeon asked. Minji nodded back. 

“The orc you just beat asks one of the serving girls for a spot of charcoal or a quill to write with,” Yoohyeon described. “She provides the latter, and he immediately writes down directions and a password. Folding it up, he slides it across you and says, ‘This is all you’ll need, lassie.’” 

“I thank him for his help,” Minji replied. “Can I read what it says to the group?” 

Yoohyeon gave the go signal. “You have a lead, might as well follow it.” 

\--

“Realistically, you wouldn’t be able to make it to the destination in question without some rest,” Yoohyeon said. “And let’s fast forward a day ahead in our journey.” 

“Everyone’s pretty much at starting gold, so you guys are too broke to enter shops yet,” she continued, flipping through her notes. “Everyone okay with skipping forward in time even more? Triss, what’s your destination called and what time does it open?” 

“It’s called ‘The Cage,’” Minji read. “And it should be open as early as 8 PM. We need to head north west when we see the last blacksmith’s shop just along this main road.” 

“Nice. We’re perfectly on track,” Yoohyeon smiled. “All of you have a nice, restful supper with no disturbances before you ride off, about half an hour from the main road.”

“Triss, I believe,” she added. “You didn’t tell our group who would be allowed inside the venue.” 

“Ah, right,” Minji replied, staring at the sheet of paper once more. “It says, ‘Couples only.’” 

“For narrative purposes,” Siyeon declared, before any of her party members could object. “Minji and I are practically getting married at the end of the month, so it wouldn’t be any fun if the two of us had to ‘pretend’ to be lovers in D&D.”

Yoohyeon was absolutely delighted to see Siyeon smirk at Bora and Yubin, and she knew it took every ounce of self-control for Bora not to blush madly at Siyeon’s suggestion. She was nothing but competitive after all. 

Bora crossed her arms and leaned back. “Game on. It’ll be more interesting, anyway.” 

“And,” Yubin beamed, leaning on the table a little closer to Bora. “You’ll have no reason to ice me out again.” 

“Don’t count on it,” Bora replied, comically shoving Yubin’s face away from her, to the table’s laughter. “What’s the plan, team leader boss?” 

“I think,” Minji interjected. “Zora and I should hang outside and befriend the bouncer. We’ll be like your bodyguards!” 

“That’s… a terrible idea for me because warlocks don’t tank,” Siyeon replied. “But I wouldn’t let you tank outside by yourself, so I’m in.” 

“Dope,” Yubin said, rubbing her hands together. “Is there a password or something? How do we get in?” 

“The password is ‘Priscilla,’” Minji explained. 

“Great,” Yubin turned to Yoohyeon. “I say the password at the entrance.” 

“Awesome,” Yoohyeon replied. “You step in without issue, past this hulkish Dragonborn bouncer. Zora and Triss, where are you guys going to be?” 

“What if we try befriending the bouncer?” Siyeon shrugged. 

“Sure, what do you open with?” 

“Can I start doing pull-ups right beside him?” Minji asked.

“I didn’t originally think that their low roofing could take it, but sure,” Yoohyeon replied, smiling. “So obviously, he’s kind of at a loss for words when a gargantuan demigod starts doing pull-ups in front of him while an earth genasi warlock stares in indifference, so he asks, ‘You ladies… lost or something?’” 

“Nah man, just got back from a shift,” Minji replied, full himbo on. “I uh, bounce too! At The Pit, you head of it?” 

“Deception check!” Yoohyeon drums against the table. “Make it good for me!” 

It is, and Minji’s dice shows a 17. “Your enormous biceps kind of, unbeknownst to the both of you, nudge against his as you say this, and the bouncer looks at you in quiet, bro affirmation. ‘Man, you ended up at the right place, mate! You wouldn’t run out of work in years!’” 

“No shit!” Minji shot back. “Tonight was too packed even for the weekend, so I thought I’d stop here.” 

“Heard they’ve got some… unusual attractions over here,” Siyeon added. “Know how they do it? Heard they’re not even spellcasters or anything.” 

“You see the man shake his massive head, a trail of steam coming out of his nostrils,” Yoohyeon said, and flawlessly shifted to his voice. “Wish I could tell you why, but that’s classified. Only upper management’s supposed to know.” 

“Just between you and me though,” Yoohyeon leaned in. “This is a new place. They don’t have any healthcare here or whatever. It’s bollocks, really.” 

“Terrible,” Siyeon shook her head. “I mean, a man of your talents, what’s your name sir, sorry?” 

“‘Name’s Bevers.’ he says, and shakes both your hands at the same time,” Yoohyeon continued. 

“Maybe you’re better off working for a friend of ours,” Minji suggested. “I could hook you up with The Pit, if you want!” 

“His eyes sparkle at both of you in the most endearing way ever,” Yoohyeon beamed. “And he goes, ‘I’d love that ladies, thanks for helping a bloke out like this even on a night out.’”

“Can I offer him a hit from a pipe I secretly brought?” Siyeon added. 

“And of course,” Yoohyeon replied. “He loves both of you even more. Now, back to our intrepid duo infiltrating a sex den! Gahyeon, play [Toy Soldier by Britney Spears](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R60NQkzCHEg) if you’d be so kind.” 

“Gotcha!” Gahyeon replied, and Britney’s slick B-side began to play. 

“Yooh, I’m gonna be honest,” Bora said. “I want my character to live long enough just so she can hear more of these bops in a fucking medieval D&D campaign setting.” 

“It shouldn’t make sense,” Yubin laughed. “But it totally does.” 

“Thanks, I have great taste.” Yoohyeon smiled at them both. “So you guys step inside The Cage hand-in-hand, and all semblance of it being a tavern on the side is just gone. Velvet drapes hang from every shut window and pulsing lights leave certain areas shrouded in darkness. You don’t seem to know where the pulsating music seems to be coming from. Maybe it’s magic?” 

“Everything that you two have experienced sexually,” Yoohyeon began to describe. “doesn’t seem to pale in comparison to what’s going on around you. No one looks the least bit human, but Castellan was right–everyone does seem humanoid. You see everything from gyrating cheetahs on poles, sharks giving private clients lap dances, and deer provocatively descending on tables via aerial silk. You spot multiple private rooms and the both of you have a feeling that what you see before you doesn’t begin to scratch the surface of everything The Cage can provide.” 

“I’m legitimately turned on, but I don’t want Raveena to know,” Yubin added. “Just in case she isn’t into that kind of stuff. I don’t want my chances with her to go from zero to negative five in one go.”

“I’m super turned on,” Bora declared. “My mouth legit hangs open.”

“I bet if Essi was paying attention,” Siyeon added after her. “She would spot like, drool on the corner of your mouth.” 

“Just a drop,” Bora laughed. “Enough for me to get rid of in case someone spots me.” 

“And speaking of someone who spotted you,” Yoohyeon began. “You see this gorgeous blonde half-elf walking toward you in this floor length halter dress. She’s tugging what looks like a feminine sabre-toothed cat humanoid in a chain leash. She stops dangerously close to Essi and begins to speak.” 

“Essi, darling,” Handong cooed out of nowhere, causing the whole table to gasp. At that, she sat on Yubin’s lap and put her arms around her for good measure. Yoohyeon couldn’t stop laughing at Yubin’s bewildered expression. “Remember me?” 

“Give me a history check, Essi,” Yoohyeon said. 

For effect, Yubin die hit the center of the table for everyone to see. They could barely contain themselves after seeing the number 3. “I turn back to… whoever this is,” Yubin said. “And I go, ‘I… don’t know you? Exactly?’” 

“Ooh, someone’s gonna get their ass whooped!” Bora heckled.

“I straight up slap her across the face and go, ‘How dare you!’” Handong exclaimed, acting this role like she was born to play it. “All those nights at Duchess Rohan Adzana’s Redanian estate and you can’t even remember my bloody name?” 

“DM, can I come out of character for a bit and post this on IG stories?” Bora asked, already pulling out her phone. 

“Go ahead, just make sure to tag everybody!” Yoohyeon laughed. 

“Can I try to salvage the situation?” Yubin asked desperately. Yoohyeon nodded back at her. “Alright, so I turn to Rohan and I say, ‘Deepest apologies Duchess, but beautiful women tend to have similar features! And romantics have terrible memory.’” 

“I won’t even try,” Yoohyeon started, shaking her head. “to ask you to give me a charisma check for the single worst thing you could say to your hot ex, so I’m just going to let Rohan figure out how to deal with you.” 

“So I turn to Essi’s companion,” Handong replied, still on Yubin’s lap. “And go, ‘I’m sorry, I’ve been terribly rude, darling. What’s your name?’” 

“Raveena,” Bora replied. “And I have no problems with you manhandling my girlfriend over here. We’re pretty open, you see.” 

“Thanks for nothing,” Yubin mouthed back. Bora only stuck her tongue out at her. 

“Excellent!” Handong exclaimed. “If you don’t mind, I’d like a few words with my former jilted lover. I’ll give her back to you in one piece, don’t you worry.” Oh, and my sabre-toothed companion Wynhana here might want a word with you, if you don’t mind. She told me she knows you from a former place of employment.” 

“You see Duchess Rohan sort of drag Essi away to an empty private table comically by the ear,” Yoohyeon described. At that, Handong took her place back beside Gahyeon and gave Yubin a wink. “Can you make a quick history check for me please, Raveena?”

Bora winced. “That’s another 3, DM.” 

“You guys have terrible memory when it comes to every single woman you meet, apparently,” Yoohyeon chuckled. “You blink, and in the span of a few seconds, the sabre-toothed humanoid turns into this human girl, who looks to be around your age but is smaller than you by a few inches. She’s naked from the waist up save for the chained choker around her neck and latex underwear. In my head, she kind of looks like Twitch streamer Pokimane.” 

“I’m never leaving this place,” Bora declared while her friends barely stifled their laughter. “Triss and Zora outside are gonna kill us for perishing in this brilliant, horny sex den.” 

“And they’re stuck outside so fuck what they know, right?” Yoohyeon laughed. “Anyway, make an insight check for me, please.” 

“Oof,” Bora replied. “Nat one.” 

“You’re completely oblivious to this person’s intentions,” Yoohyeon declared. “The irony isn’t lost on me–you used to be a whore after all. She sort of gestures to you that she wants to chat in one of the private tables. Will you take the free one away from where you can see Yubin and the Duchess or will you take a table within their line of sight.” 

“Def the latter, please,” Bora decided. “I mean, I’m horny but I’m not an asshole? To my party member? I want to make sure she’s safe or whatever.” 

“That’s the nicest thing you said to me this entire campaign,” Yubin put her hand to her chest in mock delight. Bora just rolled her eyes. 

“Without missing a beat, when the two of you sit down, she puts her hand on your knee,” Yoohyeon went on, scooting closer to Bora. “May I?” 

“What, like in real life? Okay,” Bora agreed, raising her eyebrows. “I’m gonna go through a lot of horny cognitive dissonance with this, I just know it.” 

“Just remember your character can’t tell I’m flirting on a nat one,” Yoohyeon laughed, placing her hand on Bora’s knee. Almost immediately, her voice began to change. “I know you… may not know me from the shitty whorehouse we worked in, but I’m happy to see you’re looking pretty good now.” 

“When I’m oblivious to flirting, I just talk about work,” Bora laughed. “So I go, ‘Yeah, well, I could never see myself doing that kind of thing long-term and adventuring gave me the freedom I needed.’”

“That’s amazing,” Yoohyeon swooned, her eyes glassy and dreamy. No one at the table could take their eyes off their interaction. “Working there really stifled me, you know? Like, I always knew I was destined for something more and I’m glad the Duchess gave me this opportunity. It doesn’t beat being an adventurer, but I can be a sabre-toothed tiger whenever I want. Like, I’m killing’ it.” 

“Actually, that could be useful in adventuring,” Bora added. “You can definitely attack heavily for your party with what you have!” 

“Come to think of it, yeah,” Yoohyeon beamed, giving Bora a full smile. “Like, I can use my cat-like senses to sneak past an enemy and just jump them.” 

“Sneak attacks are super helpful,” Bora agreed, still trying her best to look completely oblivious. “You can hide in bushes, or even beside the tankier members of your team. One of your spell casters can create fogs or illusions to hide you before you stri-“

“She kisses you right on the mouth,” Yoohyeon declared in her own voice. Bora’s mouth hangs open. “Really roughly, you notice, biting your lip.” 

“What, I, whoa, I didn’t-“ 

“Oh God, I’m sorry!” Yoohyeon switched impressively again. “Like, I thought-“ 

“No, I meant, I was surprised-“ 

“I didn’t think,” Yoohyeon started, right before collapsing sideways on the table. Everyone stared in shock as she started growling and convulsing, deep guttural noises making their way out of her throat in bursts. Before Bora could turn away, Yoohyeon jumped at her and hissed, hyper-realistic fangs protruding from both sides of her mouth now in full, terrifying display. 

Bora stood up and backed away as far as she could. “You don’t! Get to do that!” She exclaimed, beyond rattled. “You don’t get to make me horny one second and kill me the next, Kim Yoohyeon!” 

“Sure I can. That’s why I play bad guys, baby!” Yoohyeon laughed, maniacally. “Before I forget, the wound on your mouth isn’t looking too good, and only now do you start to notice.” 

“Wait, what?” Bora asked, a hand absent-mindedly touching her own spotless bottom lip. “She bit me?” 

“She did,” Yoohyeon nodded. “Your bottom lip starts to burn, and your chin starts to turn gray. The veins on your chin turn black as Wynhana’s venom slowly starts to spread. 

“Handong?” Yoohyeon turned around. “The box of doom, please.” 

“Already?” Handong replied. Seeing that Yoohyeon was serious, she disappeared into the kitchen. “You’re fucking nuts, dude.” 

“What’s the box of doom?” Bora asked, eyes filled with fear. 

“Since you’re a sorceress, Raveena,” Yoohyeon explained, placing a box shaped like the mouth of a gargoyle in front of her. “your magical immune system will have to fight the venom on its own. You’re going to roll a d100 die. If you get anything above 50, you succeed and heal. If you roll less than 50, well-“ 

Bora interrupted her, licking her dry lips. “I turn into a vampire?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is partially inspired by Fantasy High, a D&D game run by Brennan Lee Mulligan.


End file.
